Sometimes I wonder is there any guy out there lost as me trying to sober up from being drunk on love?
Does his flame flicker like it’s about to go out like mines? Seriously I do feel incomplete. Is he somewhere thinking the thoughts I am? What if we won’t ever see each other until next lifetime. There is a void in me that needs to be filled. There are days I feel a piece of myself die or feeling lost. Sad thing is I might NOT come across him, ever. I AM suppose to be with someone…. I wonder has he gave up like me?
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Listening to Jimi Hendrix as usual. Today I scrolled through my phone looking for my father’s phone number. I tapped his contact picture and hesitated to press the phone icon and I thought about what my sister told me about him. He’s suffering in silence about his PTSD. I cried a little when she told me that. Two years ago I tried to reach out to him about it and get him help, but he said no. Now I’m up worried about my father, for whatever reason I don’t know why 😞. My father was my role model, some can’t say so much about that themselves, some things I didn’t agree with but whatevs. We’ve been having a “Clash and Wrath of the Titans” relationship right now. He’s my father and NOT my best friend, he use to tell me when I was little and kept it that way. Wish I can just reach into his soul pull out the nerd/geek person he is. I guess I’ll call him tomorrow to make sure he’s alright. I’m going to be the bigger better person and squash this. All hope is NOT gone. I know he wanted me and my siblings to do good and be good , I understand why he was so hard on us. He’s alive and still married to my mom. I love my father with all my heart ❤
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When my dude puts me in my place….
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When someone tells you one of your exes passed away…. good…. glad that motherfucker dead so no other broad has to put up with his bullshit.
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😒 😏
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Death: Bittersweetness after living
Lately my dreams have been vivid, vivid as to wake up marks on my body when I’m sound asleep. I don’t know if I’m brushing my life with death or death letting me walk in its shoes to see how death come so easily without anyone that knowing they’re gonna die. In my dreams I put myself in the alleged victims shoes and see how death comes by without them even knowing.
I have so many questions about it.
Watching someone’s life leave their body, gurgling blood, coughing up blood, halfway breathing…. that last gasp to leave the body… Death is neither your friend or foe. -
Reflection
Sit down one day when you’re by yourself and write a letter to yourself about yourself to see how you’ve grown as a person. Try to see yourself how others see you, be the person on the outside looking in.
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“Homies help homies”
I am so jealous of their friendship. I know it’s a cartoon and all. Why can’t real life people be cool as them? -
UNICORN POO
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